Hey… hey… Eugene?
Leave me alone.
C’mon man I have an idea.
Leave me alone.
See I was thinking…
Leave me alone.
Would you just listen? Please?
What is it?
I was thinking, maybe our first Q&A session should be between us. How about I ask you some questions and you me? What do you think? Wait why do you have that smug look on your face?
Nobody submitted any question, did they? So, you’re here trying to save face by interviewing me instead. Real smooth Sam.
Friendly reminder that people used to comment more when I was in charge.
Just had to put it out there, O not so intelligent and powerful one.
Dude what are you doing? Are you in or not?
How many questions?
I might regret this but alright shoot.
Hold on I have to do an introduction for the readers first
Now is that really necessa…
What’s that now? I can’t hear you over the sound of me humming to drown out your voice
Hi! It’s Sam. How have you all been? It’s been a while. I did some thinking in the time and decided it best the first Q&A session is between Eugene and I. That way you would get to know us better.
You admitted right up there that nobody submitted any question. What are you doing lying?
Pay no attention to that people. He’s super excited for this. I have a bunch of questions to ask him, questions you all would like answers to. For the new readers I, Samantha Brown, the genius alter ego is in italics and not so impressive Eugene is in regular text. So, let’s dive right in.
My first question is a test of your thinking ability. Who do you think is the genius? The creation or the creator?
I don’t understand.
Take Sherlock Holmes for instance, He’s delightfully brilliant, isn’t he? Would you consider him the genius or his writer, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, the genius?
Sherlock Holmes definitely. The writer has all the information and just feeds the readers little bits of it or just simply makes it up as it goes along. I’ll give Sir Arthur credit for creating a genius, but I think the genius created is more one than the creator. If we isolate both characters altogether (Sir Arthur and Sherlock), Sir Arthur becomes a man with all the information about the plot and characters of his story, but Sherlock remains a genius detective with exceptional skills of deduction.
Interesting thought. Very interesting. Okay. Next question. Do you have a girlfriend? Or boyfriend for that matter?
Nah I’m single.
Nice nice. Which brings me to this. If I could materialise into a living person, would you consider dating m-
Absolutely fucking not.
Oh, so you mean you’d prefer to continue dating your right hand like you have these past months?
Interesting. If you could, would you switch bodies with a more attractive person who isn’t as ugly as you?
Knew I’d regret this.
Is that why you’re single? Because you look like you were head butted by an elephant as a baby?
Sorry, that was just by the way, let’s get back to the topic. What’s your favourite TV show?
I’ll go with F.R.I.E.N.D.S for my all time favourite. Some of the recent ones I’ve enjoyed are Westworld, Game of Thrones, True Detective, Dark, Fargo, Stranger Things, Atlanta and of course Mr. Robot.
Obviously Mr. Robot. Who would have thought a person who talks to himself would enjoy a show about… another person who talks to himself?
Nothing. Hey do you feel like lesbians look at you and think “This is why I’m not heterosexual?”
Alright that’s it, I’m done. I’m not going to sit here and have you disrespect me with jokes from Seinfeld.
You agreed to ten ques…
Nah that’s it. It’s my turn. I’m asking the questions now. You like superhero movies, right?
Eer… yes, I do. Why?
Who are you rooting for in the next Avengers film? Thanos or the Avengers?
Logically, Thanos. Stronger than any of them, plus with the infinity stones he’d be unstoppable. I’m actually really excited to watch him beat the avengers. It would be fun to have the bad guy win for once. To be completely honest I like to root for the bad guys always. The good guys are boring.
Good. Now, this nature of yours to tend to root for bad guys in movies, is it because you are a psychopath?
“To be completely honest I like to root for the bad guys always… “. It’s right up there in your words.
What? No. I mean yes, I said that but that does not make me a psychopath. I just think it would make for a more interesting plot if the good guy didn’t always win.
So Thanos should wipe out half of humanity just because you want a good plot? Don’t you have some empathy? You’d sacrifice half the human population for a good twist?
What? Of course, I do have empathy. I’m just saying….
Oh, I see. You’re setting me up and twisting my words to make me look bad. Well played. This shall not be forgotten.
You said what you said yourself ma’am.
Very clever boy, very clever. You win this round. I won’t be fooled next time. You bet I will be prepar-… Eugene? Hey, where are you going? Dang. Why does he always disappear when I’m talking?
… Batman does that. It’s cool.
Oh, shut up.